Today though I started to think about what are important things to me. What are my personal core values and why do i do all that i do? I'm 21 now and i should have formed something by now since I'm fairly consistent. So what makes Matt Roe tick? This was not a long journey but i'd like to share it anyway.
There is a lot of things i do and don't do. If that makes since great if not let me explain a little. I don't drink alcohol and maybe never will. The way i drink milk or coffee is binge like anyway. I do on the other hand work out pretty often. It doesn't show well but its true. These are things i do for a reason not just react to life with. They even have something in common with why i do them.
One thing that goes across the board for me in why i do what i do is freedom. Freedom from a life that could be wrecked by alcohol, my weight, my anger, my emotions, my daily choices, who i date, who i spend time with, and anything that could lead me to be stuck in something. I don't want things to tie me down so i purposely have gone out and made it so i am free. I didn't understand this so much till i taught a sunday school class, for 6th-9th graders, about sin.
The sunday school class was called Hooks. It was a 5 week series about sin and i started each class with this statement about sin. "We blew it guys, but Jesus took care of it for us. Our problem now is we have an enemy who wants to steal, kill, and destroy the work of God in you. He wants to take freedom from you, and he uses hooks to do so." But by the last week i wasn't even talking about sin, i was talking about letting anything get in the way of your freedom given to you by God. Such as letting yourself get in the way of that freedom, which i do from time to time by not forgiving myself.
After teaching this class i noticed in my own life i wanted to keep that freedom all the time. So now self conscience of my freedom i had finally developed my thoughts about it a bit more with my life experience of the next couple weeks, which was a rocky couple weeks.
I will admit i had a bad week and i'm not here to vent, just to explain this a bit more. I had gotten stressed out by doing so much and people around me, my friends, were pretty harsh with me or just too busy themselves. In all this i needed to relax but couldn't. I had become stuck in my stress and anxiousness. I was not living a free life. I tried to talk to God but my mind was running so fast i seemed blocked by my own static. It all turned around thanks to God using my friends to harshly talk to me and even a kind word from another. I relaxed and got focused on my problem. I became free again.
So now to today. I am driving in my car having like the best day ever, I got my swag on and everything, just thinking about what are my core values. Today for sure I decided that i want to be the most free man alive. Not just with career choices but also everyday life. Im not stuck in this life or in anything. I have chosen this path that God has led me down. Life will try to drag me down and sometimes that will work, but I don't want to let anything get in the way of living the great life God has given me to live out today.
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