Purity

I've heard this word for many many many years.  In a church you are going to hear a purity series at least once a year typically around "the month of love." After being in church for 14 years you've heard it all. I get it! Dont get it on till after I'm married, or at least i thought i understood.

After being in relationships myself i understand a bit better. Purity is much deeper than sex or no sex.  I once was in a relationship where my girlfriend seemed to all these extra motives and didn't want to be with me to be with me.  Stature, that she was dating me, was more important than real me.  Thats not a pure relationship. I don't have a whole lot of examples, I haven't dated a whole lot and the few relationships I've had didn't last long. I still understand that purity can come in different forms now.


We are taught a lot of things in church and reading through my bible you find a lot of do's and don'ts.  Mostly old testament with a lot of funny ones if you get bored read it in a good translation with a sense of humor. But we are ultimately taught about forgiveness and freedom.  Those are all you really need to tell someone who ask why is your religion so great? Tho in "purity talks," no bashing intended, we hear that if you blow it once you make a mess of all your relationships after that one mistake.   Forgiveness is mentioned but i think guilt is still there.

I know someone who felt guilty about a past of there's they couldn't even control.  They didn't want what happen to happen and it was forced on them.  Still feels they is to blame for this happening.  They want to be in a pure relationship but didn't feel worthy of it themselves.  They have pure intentions, pure motives, a pure relationship with God,  and have a genuine love ready to express.  They don't have baggage from their past minus the guilt of this abuse done to them. I couldn't help but hear in the back of my mind Jesus screaming out "YOU ARE STILL SO PURE!!!" So we talked much longer and after some crying and praying, from both of us, This person finally felt they had worth again in the area of purity.

I don't think i can understand all that purity means but after my past experiences and conversations with lots of people i'm learning all these purity talks are important.  Not just to teach us what to avoid doing before marriage, but also teach us how to be pure in our hearts.  Purity in a heart is a quality i value much more than a past that we have been forgiven for already.

Math

I'm a fairly smart young man, but there are people around me much more knowledgable about the bible.  When they read it they see things i don't and i have wanted to learn how to do this forever.  So i've been learning a lot about the bible from college and its helped a lot.  Finally i think i scratched the surface of understanding some of the bible.


I'm pretty good with math and numbers but the other day i took math too far. I've been smart in this subject my whole life, even tho i hate it. The other day while reading my bible, I asked myself what connected it all together.  What i found Planked my mind.


I was reading the first chapter of James.  I know this chapter and i've even spoken from it before.  I've studied it from a young age and even memorized it at one point. Still it all seemed like a bunch of random things thrown together that didn't add up till this day. 


So while reading this chapter, for the first time in months, I started seeing numbers. (Not the verse numbers) I saw the words presenting a problem and solving it. And it happened over and over again.  Kinda like math would and they all seemed like different things till i reached the last verse.  This is when everything clicked. It said "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." They had one problem that all these answers pointed to.  


This is a letter written to jews, a very religions people. They would have had this question coming into the christian world, "How can i be religious now?" They were still asking for help to keep this relevant to what they had been taught their whole lives. The whole book is a long formula to having religion in the christian faith.  


To this point people knew how to do all the rituals but they didn't take care of people.  All the book covers is how to preserve and how to treat other people.  Super simple message of our entire faith right there.  "Hey, stay faithful to God cause He is to you and treat people well." thats sooooooo simple. Thats what Jesus said is the two focuses of our faith.  


Yet, I miss this very often too.  I was out to dinner with a good friend last night.  They were telling me how their life had a lot of downs and few ups.  But all of what happened, happened while we still knew each other.  I wasn't there for them, and couldn't but i wasn't even praying for them.  I did feel convicted about this and it reminded me of James again.  If i want to be religious i need to care about the people i can and pray for those i can't do anything for.


Me caring for people + my personal relationship to God= My new life with Christ
Thats my religion and one i can support.  

My hero

I have many people i look up too as heroes.  For the most part the served either their family, city, country, church, or God. I probably won't tell these people that they inspire me, cuz for the most part i don't know them. They have just lived in such ways that i want to be better myself.

This guy has inspired me to be my best since i was very young. To be pure in heart, strong in body, and never give up.  He isn't the smartest guy ever but he does support getting an education.  He knows how to show love towards his friends and his enemies.  He loves life and wants everyone to love theirs as well. He enjoys the simple joys of life. He is highly self disciplined and yet a big goof off. Work hard play hard kinda guy.  He is willing to try anything at least once.  Has almost no fear except he won't be strong enough to handle life as it is thrown at him.  Gives everything his best, even when he doesn't feel like doing it.  He strives to be the most skilled at what he does, even down to how much he is eating. He would fight the toughest battles never looking to take the easy way out.

He helped form a lot of what I think even to this day.
To my hero.

God can

I've prayed for people like thousands of times and feel nothing.  Its not that i don't care, I just don't feel the pain of the People i'm praying for usually.  I can understand people's pain, and i really do pray for them with all my heart. I even pray for people later on throughout my week. I've prayed that God would soften my heart and that i would feel the pain for people that He feels.  Hoping to get more passionate about people and ministry. I just haven't felt that way emotionally yet. Yesterday however, I had multiple very different experiences.  

First in the morning I prayed with a couple about another family who just lost the father/husband.  I've prayed for this same scenario and it's sad but I don't know them.  So I'm usually pretty good afterwards. Oddly enough as i began to Talk to God i felt very sad like i lost someone in my life. Then i felt as if i knew this family as personal friends and i hurt for them too.  I finished praying with tears in my eyes and i sat down still crying a bit and really emotional. So i wrote down my feelings and my confusion.

Like i understand feeling my own pain and getting emotional over that.  Whats this being emotional about people i don't know and may never see?  We usually feel pain for people who are in our lives or close to our lives.  If we cry over every person ever hurt, we'd never stop crying.  Not meaning to sound too cold but really thats how we all are.  You never even cared to think about the teens at home right now getting yelled at cause they aren't good enough.

So that wasn't the only thing that happened yesterday. I show up to church last night for youth and i heard things students were saying.  I saw one student get dropped off getting yelled at as they jumped out of the truck.  Tears in this students eyes, she quickly threw on the smile and normal pepping teen girl was back.  I really wanted to just hug all the students and adopt them all and be there for everyone.  First off I live at home on the couch and two I can't be 100 students parent.  I really hurt for them in a way i never had before and not just them but the youth that i will encounter as i step into my first pastoral role.

After taking some time to think without all my emotions, I realized God was just preparing my heart for people.  I cared about people who affected me but now I'm starting to honestly care about people who have nothing to do with me.  I learned a bit about my selfishness and that i still have a long way to go.  I still have a lot of people to care about and love.  I also need to be more like God who loves unselfishly, among His many other great qualities.  I will just grow as much as i can in this life. To be more like the God i have fallen in love with.

Probably my best day ever

I may not have the best smile but i know i know this was one of my best days to date.

Sitting at Forza

I'm at my favorite coffee shop today in the whole world.  Its the Parkland Forza.  Nothing special about why i like coming here i just have since my junior year in high school.  But thats not what i'm talking about today. Today I am learning what it means to practice what you preach in a hard way.

If you haven't caught on by now I am going to ministry and i'll be a pastor soonish, but I find myself having more problems being a christ follower when i try to do more for my faith.  Most of what i'll write is about my thoughts or even a bit of my struggles as a pastor hopeful.

Today Practicing what i preach.  In two weeks i'll be preaching twice and I don't have both ready but i know for one i want to preach about How to Love.  Not a purity talk by the way. I just want to show what the bible says about loving everyone and how to do so.

I know its easy to love those who love you back, thats no challenge.  That also doesn't show us what Christ love was about.  I have even gone so far as to figure out how to love my enemies, quite a challenge.  But even this doesn't teach me what Jesus' love was all about completely at least.

This last week has taught me a few of the pains that i believe Jesus feels.  One tho is about how Jesus loves us.  The question was asked this last week, "Does the bible say I need to love sinners?"  I listen to the discussion go down and was kinda shocked at how people reacted.  1 Thessalonians 5:21 "Test everything that is said" We are told to love everyone so asking why isn't a bad question.  I actually liked the fact someone was bold, or dumb enough to even ask.  So i started thinking about what he said as a reason why he wasn't sure.  "I don't know if i can love someone who doesn't love Jesus"

My sermon was going to be about why we should love all people and then how.  With a simple 3 step process: Identify, Invest, and intercede.  I was sooooooooo proud that i managed to make my sermon have some alteration. I was set and ready to go, but you know as a good Christian i  pray "God let everything i preach be from you." Then the Holy Spirit of God, who guides me and teaches me, gave me a little taste of reality and the practice what i preach came together.

I would say I am good at meeting people outside church and loving them.  Others have said i'm "skilled" or "gifted" in that area. So i thought I was a good person to even talk about this.  I had many learning experiences thru middle school high school, all public school too.  I was not ready for the Holy Slap in the face by the Holy Spirit i got this last week.

I have a friend who i can say i love dearly.  I care about this person and would do just about anything for this person.  I can let my emotion guards down and actually talk about the personal things in my life, that won't be blogged about.  I've known this person for over a year and we have had a lot happen.  We have fought and made up multiple times and once even took all summer to get over.  We butt heads often but i love my friend all the same. I am always willing to listen and i enjoy having someone i trust to talk to.

Lately tho my friend has been acting differently around me.  They will be nice and friendly one day then the next be cold and ignore me.  For a while i kind of blew it off but now its when different people are around they act differently.  Its so fast paced and crazy I can't keep up.  I felt like a stepping stone only kept around cuz I'm useful as a tall strong man. I was getting ready to close myself up and be a friend to this person but they would never be my friend again.  I would not let them be a part of my life and wreck my day for whatever their issue is, and justly so.  At least i thought.

The book of Hosea is about God's love for us and what he deals with.  Hosea is a prophet who is told to marry a prostitute, so he finds one named Gomer, as crazy as it sounds.  His wife goes back to work often and Hosea has to buy her back knowing what she has done.  That sounds rough, like my first thought is get that divorce man!  But thats not how God deals with me, or you.  God loves us and has bought us back by the blood of the spotless lamb.  I don't always choose God first and I am forgiven for it every time i mess that up.

So now what? Of course i know that i need to love my sinner friends and love people at the church, but i also have to choose to love those who flip back and forth in my life and make it difficult to live day to day. Jesus called his disciples friends in John 15.  He says "I confide in you." Jesus had to forgive those guys often. They betrayed him, ran when he was in danger, and were his biggest fans.  If jesus has called me to love like he has loved then i think what i need to do is preach that message.  That's a love is the tough but is  what Jesus taught us to do.  

Even the interns

So i teach a jr high sunday school class and i get asked a lot "isn't that a pain to do?" They are referring to lack of attention in students today.  I love my class and the students in there make me laugh each week with something new. They are loud disruptive ADHD (seriously some are) and just not interested in coming. I understand what they are saying when they call it a pain tho.  You are teaching a class you have a lesson and if you are passionate about your lesson you want everyone to get what you say. And thats just not going to happen in a room of about 20 jr highers who don't even like each other that much.

But even so i consider that class more joy than pain.  Mostly just cuz they are young and i know they are listening and just trying to figure out little stuff.  Instead of how they should live in freedom they will be more concerned with a story of mine about a security job i once had. Either way i don't have a problem with it.  I will tell the kids i don't take cell phones just don't hide them. So they are distracted on trying to hide that they aren't paying attention.  I like the honesty.

I did however saw something today that made me think that would be a pain. I am in an internship with a few other young men and women aiming for ministry as a calling on their lives, maybe as a career.  This morning a student was doing a devotion. (a short lesson about God, the bible, our lives, or whatever) While doing her devotion I saw something that almost made me say something afterwards, not in love.  In a room of 5 students 1 teaching,  2 interns where on their phones.  Usually i like to think people are on the bible apps but i could see from where i was sitting that what was on the small screen was not a bible.  It was Facebook and looking at pictures of a little party from a few days ago.  Now if anyone should be good at listening to a speaker it should be the people getting into ministry right?

Now I'm not trying to judge  cuz the fact is true i saw this and was distracted myself, so i missed a bit too.  I am trying to point out that in a room of close friends people can't pay attention to each other very long.  SO how can anyone expect middle school students to do any better.  If we don't show a much higher standard the kids will stay where they are as well.

I was challenged by this thought today that if i want people to do something i have to do it first.  If i want people to listen, i need to listen first. If i want people to grow, I need to grow first.  Very much a lead by example focused morning.  Plus what the devo said about living in unity by love. Extra free nugget there.